


In Which Roxy Gets Stood Up and Naps at a Mattress Store

by literally_annie_leonhardt



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, if that doesnt make you want to read it idk what will, there are many mattresses involved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-17
Updated: 2015-09-17
Packaged: 2018-04-21 06:40:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4819007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/literally_annie_leonhardt/pseuds/literally_annie_leonhardt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You choose the logical thing to do after a nice steak dinner and a few drinks: take a nap at a mattress store.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Which Roxy Gets Stood Up and Naps at a Mattress Store

==>

 

Your name is Roxy Lalonde and your date for the night is an astronomically large asshole.

 

It is currently 6:50 pm and you have stumbled into a Sleepy’s mattress store. You just had dinner by yourself because your date stood you up and you didn’t want to just leave the restaurant. Of course, you couldn’t go home and face your younger step-sister yet (this is the third time this month you’ve been stood up, come on) so you choose the logical thing to do after a nice steak dinner and a few drinks: take a nap at a mattress store.

 

At least it’s kind of nice out, so the walk to Sleepy’s wasn’t too treacherous. There is a nice breeze and not much need for your purple and pink scarf but it’s too fashionable and it goes with your outfit so you definitely have to keep it on. The birds are doing their usual pre-sundown yelling, probably at their nice nests with their little bird husbands and babies feeding them worms and having a generally good time. The world seems to be great if you were to just look out the window. But not you, what with your no-show date and currently being facedown on a quite comfy gourmet mattress.

 

On account of you being too let down and generally angry at everything you decide to stumble over to the closest mattress which also happened to be the one in the window display. It didn’t even occur to you that there would be people walking down the street because of how nice of an evening it was. The least you could have done is go for one of the beds that could be covered by the trees and shrubs out the window, but no you just had to flop your slightly tipsy self onto the first bed you laid eyes on.

 

At least the bartender was cute.

 

No less than 5 minutes into your rather peaceful nap, a salesman walks over and taps you on the back. You roll over to look at him. You must admit, he’s quite handsome, with messy-but-in-a-cool-way hair and stunning blue eyes and dorky glasses.

 

“...sleep on the merchandise... not in the window display.”

 

“I’m s-sorry, wh... what did ya just say?”

 

You didn’t catch most of his sentence on account of a) you’re slightly tipsy and b) hot damn he’s cute.

 

“I said, ‘excuse me, ma’am, you’re not allowed to sleep on the merchandise, at least not on the window display.’”

 

“But it’s soooo comfyy...” you say, kind of flopping your face back on the display pillow but still looking at him with one eye. You wish the pillow was as comfy as the mattress.

 

“Well, y-yes, I would hope it is, I mean we are the Mattress Professionals,” he says with a wink.

You can’t help but roll your eye.

 

“Alright, aaalright, fiiine. I’ll jus’ be over there.”

 

With that you roll off the mattress and sway a bit as you make your way over to another mattress, this one closer to the back of the showroom. You touch every bed for support on your journey through the store. You may be more drunk than you thought. The bed you settle for is not as comfy as the first one, but still better than your step-sister making her snide remarks about how “boys aren’t trustworthy” and “that’s why I have a girlfriend, much more reliable”. You must admit though she was slightly drunk when she said those things; the last time you went home after being stood up you got her to drink with you. But she still said it and as they say, a drunk person’s words are a sober person’s thoughts.

 

==> Like, an hour later

 

You have been napping for about an hour and the alcohol has begun to wear off so you get up and wander a bit. You wander out the door and across the street, with a plan to get some dessert or something. It’s still rather nice out and the sun is beginning to set, painting the sky pinks and oranges. Once you’re safely across the street you stand on the sidewalk and admire the sunset. The clouds have been colored purple by the setting sun and the whole sky looks like a painting. Sunsets are one of your favorite things.

 

After you stare at the sky for what you deem a sufficient amount of time, you make your way through the parking lot and to a little ice cream parlor. There are little tables set out in front of the large shop window and there are little vases with very small cut flowers in them. You plan to sit out at one of those tables and look at the sky some more while you eat your ice cream.

 

You walk through the door and are serenaded by the bells attached to the frame. The floor is the generic ice cream shop tile and there is a wall covered in chalkboard paint where guests can draw and sing their praises for the wonderful homemade ice cream for sale in the shop. You order a small cup of cookie dough ice cream which takes about 5 minutes because there were a plethora of hand motions used to describe the flavor because honestly your slightly disappointed and mostly drunken self can’t be bothered to form actual words.

 

You pay and walk out the door to enjoy your ice cream and the setting sun and look at how tiny the little flowers are. They’re decidedly the cutest flowers you’ve ever seen.

 

You walk back to the Sleepy’s because you don’t think you’ve spent enough time out to seem like you were actually on a date and also because you want to bump into the cute sales associate again. Or, more like plant yourself in his way so he’s bound to notice you. You wander back to the bed you claimed earlier, and settle down for another nice nap. At this point it’s already 8:30 and you noted that the store closes at 9 but you decide ‘fuck it’ and flop onto the mattress.

 

The pillow is much comfier than you remember it to be earlier, but you don’t pay any mind to that because it’s a very comfortable pillow and you’re damn tired.

 

==> Be the sales guy

 

Your name is John Egbert and this is your 5th day on the job as a Sleepy’s sales associate. There is presently a young lady - early 20’s maybe - asleep on the 4th mattress from the door to the employee’s room. She has already left and come back once so you can only assume she has nothing better to do than pass out on a rather comfy mattress. You do have to admit she is quite pretty and you wonder why on earth she is taking a nap here when she could be out on a date with a nice gentleman - or woman, who knows. You yourself have been in relationships with males and females so who knows. You certainly don’t, nor do you care to judge.

 

Either way, it’s exactly 10 minutes to closing time so you head over and wake her up.

 

“Excuse me, miss, we close in 10 minutes so could you do me a huge favor and leave?”

 

Wow that was much more rude than you anticipated oh my god.

 

“Oh goodness I didn’t mean it that way what I meant wa-”

 

She rolls over and laughs before sitting up, and laying down again.

 

“Man, I would looove to but ya see darlin I can’t go home just yet. My sister’ll make fun of me for sure.”

 

You don’t quite know how to respond to that as you’ve never had a customer be so up front with their feelings.

 

“Oh my, could I do anything to help?” You say somewhat skeptically but still genuinely.

 

She thinks about your question for a moment, apparently mulling it over in her mind.

 

“Weeeeellll, you could, if you want. Would you mind being my daaaaate?”

 

Now that caught you off guard. What did she just say? You think it had something to do with her asking you out but you aren’t entirely sure but you also can’t question it because she’s looking at you rather expectantly and oh goodness she’s really pretty-

 

“Yeah, why not? It’s the least I could do, you seem pretty tuckered out.”

 

Did you really just agree to be her date oh my god what are you thinking? You have no idea who this person is, other than the fact that she seems to like sleeping and alcohol. You also have no idea what kind of “date” she wants you to be. Is it more of a casual, ‘impress relatives at a reunion’ thing? Or maybe a more serious ‘my parents want me to bring someone home tonight or else they’re going to set me up with someone beyond my control’ type deal?

 

She breaks your anxious train of thought by speaking again.

 

“Oh man, you don’t have to look so streeeeesssed, I just can’t deeeaaal with my step-sister making fun of me. I got stood up for the 3rd time this month tonight.”

 

Okay, so more of a casual stand-in thing.

 

“Wow, I’m sorry to hear that. Again, it’s the least I could do. Hey, after I close up do you want to hang at my place for a while, just to, I don’t know, get to know each other a bit? Also, the longer the date the better, eh?”

 

Did you really just invite a complete stranger to your house oh my god.

 

“Oh yeah that sounds great, thaaaaanks darlin.”

 

“Right wow I can’t believe I invited you over without even knowing your name.”

 

“That’s fiiine. It’s Roxy.”

 

You can’t explain why, but that name really suits her.

 

“That’s a really pretty name! Mine’s John although you probably already know that as I’m wearing a name tag, wow.”

 

You blush a bit. Wow she’s really getting to you.

 

“Naaah it’s fine. Why don’t you close up aaaand I’ll stay here until you’re done.”

 

“Sounds like a plan, Roxy. I’ll be right back.”

 

You close up as fast as possible and when you return you find that Roxy is fast asleep again. You hope she likes the softer pillow you added to the bed, and she does based on how unconscious she is. You pick her up bridal style and carry her out through the back door and into your car. She looks really pretty in the light of the rising moon and you carefully place her in the passenger seat, buckle her in, and close the door making sure her lovely scarf isn’t caught in it.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> to emily: happy national apple dumpling day  
> to others: thank you for reading!! EDIT 12 oct 2015 there won't be a second part as theres really no place to go with this also it's too stressful to keep up with this and the other fic im writing
> 
> p.s. hmu at joe-tro.tumblr.com if you want  
> p.p.s. disclaimer: this is my first time writing roxy  
> p.p.p.s. sorry for any grammar errors as i edited this quickly. if you see anything sticking out let me know :^)


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